Interpersonal Skills: Get a Grip on Workplace Conflicts

Take a group of people with different backgrounds and varying opinions and stuff them all into one tight working space and there’s bound to be a disagreement or two, (or many). Even if, lucky you, you have your own office you will most likely gather with the rest of the team at some point. Group projects, staff meetings, conferences, and even supervisory reviews can be a breeding ground for workplace conflict.

Face it, conflict is never fun…or is it? Although, you may feel emotionally bad about conflict, there are some benefits:

• Issues will be discussed from a variety of angles, and better decisions might be made.
• You will come to understand yourself and your team members better – how they think, their goals, their dislikes.
• A group of people hashing out a disagreement is actually very interesting. Productive conflict can stimulate your brain and allow you to ponder new possibilities.
• If all else fails, a super huge office fight makes a great story for your blog or journal! Just kidding. Well, mostly kidding.

Here are seven positive approaches to handling conflict.

Address the problem objectively: Discuss your viewpoints as just that – viewpoints. You are not your viewpoint, and neither is anyone else. One person’s view may not be the answer; try to recognize and verbalize this fact.

Confront issues, not co-workers: During a disagreement the real problem is usually that you need an answer and haven’t come to a clear conclusion about what that answer may be. It can become easy to blame others or get upset with a single individual but this type of action won’t find you an answer any quicker. Don’t confront others; confront the issue.

Live in the present: Don’t bring up old arguments or any other issues. Deal with one current issue at a time. Bringing up old hostilities with co-workers is really bad news. For instance, say in the past that co-worker Joe has been a royal pain during meetings. Now, you’re dealing with the current meeting but still you say something like, “Now I know Joe’s sure to argue my point but I’ll go ahead and say it anyway.” What if Joe wasn’t going to argue your new point at all? What if his new goal is to improve his own interpersonal skills? You’ve just blown it by assuming the worst. Imagine that everyday is a new day, (it really is) and stay focused on the present.

Generate various solutions: Silly, oddball, or strategic all solutions should at least be heard during a conflict. Make it a roundtable affair where everyone gets a chance to speak. Your team will have a better shot at making a clear and useful choice when there are many ideas to choose from.

Evaluate various solutions: After generating solutions, it’s time to evaluate. Attempt to find one solution that fits everyone’s needs and goals. As your team evaluates solutions, consider the time and resources available. If a consensus cannot be reached it may be time to go back to the drawing board and generate a few more ideas.

Select a final solution: If there’s been conflict, picking the best solution will likely involve some compromise. Discuss what people are willing to compromise and what is non-negotiable. If others seem less willing to compromise, talk about the solution in terms of what people could be “comfortable” with, or “what they can live with.” Make sure that everyone gets a chance to voice their opinion about the final solution chosen; even if the solution is not going to change.

Finally, put the solution into action: Make a plan about how to use your solution and stick to it. Plan for follow-up in a timely manner and establish short and long term goals. Follow-up is especially useful for individuals who weren’t completely on board with the final solution. If follow-up shows that the solution is working it may help everyone to feel better about the end results. If follow-up shows the solution is not working it allows people the chance to generate new solutions, with a clearer idea of what may work better.

Try these positive approaches out at your workplace – or at home. Hopefully, your conflicts will have quicker and friendlier resolutions.

Need more information on interpersonal skills? Click here to learn about groups and click here for communication skills.